A "Housewife" or a "Stay at Home Mom"

(The following article was submitted by my wife, Danielle Doan)

The question I would like to propose to you in my first blogging attempt is this: Are you a housewife or a stay at home mom? Looking at those two statements, you are probably thinking, “what’s the difference.” In the general sense both are referring to a woman who has the wonderful privilege of having her home as her primary “job.” But, when you delve a little deeper you will see that there is a distinct philosophical difference between the two titles. Hopefully by the end of this article you will see this distinction.

My husband and I have just recently finished reading the book, A Family of Value by John Rosemond. In his book he discusses the problems of modern parenting. In a parenthetical section he discusses the change that has occurred in a woman’s role in the family. Where in the past a wife and mother would have been called a “housewife”, she has now been given the title of a “stay at home mom”. A housewife was a woman who was married, stayed at home and was a wife first and a mother second. Her main goal was to make her husband a success and rear obedient children. And yes, she also had her own hobbies and activities that she was involved in.

Unfortunately modern women have digressed to the role of a “stay at home mom. “ Hear me out before you draw the wrong conclusions. Today children run the schedule. A woman has become a mom first, wife second. The funny thing is that most stay at home moms are rarely ever home. Between soccer, piano, play groups, etc., moms have become nomads who basically use their minivans as a “home base”. No, I am not saying that these activities are wrong, but who is often left on the back burner?--Dad. Our families are falling apart and we are letting it happen.

Now please realize as you are reading this I am a new mother of an adorable four month old baby boy (see pictures for proof). So most of what I have written is theory. But, I realized after I read the section of the book about being a housewife that I had already starting giving less time and energy to my husband and my marriage. I am not advocating child neglect. One of the most important things you can do for your children, as a mother, is to stay home and be there for them. However, I would say that something even more important for them is that you love and adore your husband. The most secure children are those who know there parents love them and that their parents love each other.

So which will it be for you? As I am still adjusting to my new roles in life, I am making it my goal to keep the perspective of a housewife.