Parenthood...it's true--so far.

My wife was pregnant for about 9 months. This, from what I am told, is normal. You see, for the 40 weeks of pregnancy and the 7 weeks since, I have discovered that when people find out a couple is expecting (a baby) this knowledge produces two results: 1st, people suddenly feel the freedom to touch or rub the woman's belly, and 2nd, people feel the responsibility to give you advice and words of parental wisdom and encouragement (mostly unsolicited, I might add.)

I must admit that before Eldan was born, I grew quite weary of both of these results, the latter in particular. At times, I wanted to firmly but kindly tell people to mind their own business. It seemed as if everyone was saying the same thing in slightly different ways. As my wife's due date approached, I was more than ready to hear the last of these deep thoughts. "Everybody's an expert!" I thought scornfully.

However, as I look back over the first two months of my son's life, I have to admit (grudgingly) that much of what my wife and I have been told is true. I have chosen several of the most common tidbits of insight to include in this post.

1) "Delivery isn't really that bad, when it's your own child." - I heard this comment countless times because it was a well-known fact that I was quite nervous about being in the delivery room. Hospitals and I have never been on good terms, and I have come close to fainting in several situations involving needles. I sincerely longed for the bygone era when the father waited outside the delivery room with a card game or a good, long book. Despite my protests, my wife stubbornly insisted that I be present for the arrival of our firstborn. (My mom was standing close by in case I lost consciousness or my lunch.) I had determined not to look at...anything...except my wife's face. As we grew closer to the final push, however, my curiosity was insatiable. I decided to look, just once. To my great surprse, I was not nauseated in the least. I saw the top of a head and EARS! Real ears! I was fascinated. I couldn't look away. I continued to watch until Dr. Harper cut the umbilical cord. (Which, by the way, was still gross.)

2) "Newborn diapers don't smell that bad." - Diaper-changing was one aspect of parenthood I was not in any way anticipating. For 25 years I had cleverly avoided this task because it was always someone else's baby that needed changing. A cousin, a sibling, a friend, it didn't matter. It wasn't my baby, so it wasn't my responsibility. Now, there was no avoiding it. The kid would have my genes, so I had no choice. I was even less enthusiastic when the nurse at the hospital told me I needed to make sure that all crevices were clean. CREVICES! That was one thing I didn't want to hear. Because of some unexpected circumstances, I changed more diapers in the first five days of Eldan's life than I had ever planned to. And now, as a well-seasoned diaper changer, I must admit--they really don't smell that bad. They do smell, but the doo-doo isn't necessarily stomach-turning. I have also learned that diaper-changing can even be a bonding time. (As long as your child isn't screaming bloody murder at the time.)

3) "You'll fall in love with your baby the moment you see him." - I am an emotional guy. Just ask anyone who was at my wedding. (Does the word "bluthering" mean anything to you?) I wasn't sure how I would react when my child was born. Would I start weeping? Would I start laughing? Would I do both? My wife told me that someone made the above statement, and I was kind of skeptical. I must testify, however, it's true! I don't know quite how to explain it, but it's true. I didn't feel as emotional as I thought I would. I didn't cry, I didn't laugh, I didn't do anything. I just felt an overwhelming sense that this baby boy was mine. He was completely depending on us for everything. He was a little life, and he was (and is) mine...well, ours. It's weird, but its true. If there is such a thing in the world as love at first sight, it happened in a labor suite in Licking Memorial Hospital in Newark, Ohio on April 12, 2006, around 9:25pm.

So, despite my irritation, I have come to the point where I will freely admit--much of what you hear is true. Parenthood is as scary, rewarding, exciting, frustrating, and fun as people say it is--at least, so far it is. Check back in with me in a couple years and I'll give you an update. I am sure, however, that my opinion will be the same.