Lately

Beyond Description

If Only...

Danielle and I will be celebrating our 5th anniversary in a couple of weeks.  I have wanted to do something special for this milestone, but I wasn't exactly sure what--until I saw this video on the internet.  Now, all I have to do is come up with $10,000 for both of us to go...

The Birthday Boy

I can't believe I am typing this, but Eldan celebrated his 3rd birthday just a few weeks ago.  Unbelievable!  Seems like only yesterday that I was rushing out at 11 o'clock that night to get my wife (who hadn't eaten at all during 16 hours of labor) a double cheeseburger!  (The burger made her sick, by the way.)

Anyway, I am pleased to present the videographic record of the aforementioned birthday celebrations.  Enjoy...

PS - Be sure to listen for me getting all choked up when we give Eldan his present.  It is quite funny to hear!

 

What I Want

Do you know what I want?  I mean something I would really, really enjoy?  Something that would just brighten my day and put a spring in my step?  Something that really would be worth writing home about?

Well, I'll tell you.

A completely, truly, purely, absolutely, unarguably novel idea.

Turn on your TV, rent a movie, borrow a book from the library, or look at the shelves in your nearest Wal-Mart or shopping mall and you'll see why I say what I say...

Think about it.  

(Now listen to me!  That last statement wasn't even novel.  It's the tagline for Hyundai commercials.  And so the drought of novelty continues...)

A New Slideshow

Sit back and enjoy...

(BTW - The beard is not a permanent fixture--on me.)

The Genetics of Fanaticism

Dear faithful reader,

There are two things that will take my excitement about the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament and flush it down the you-know-what.

1) Duke losing

2) North Carolina winning

As you are well aware, both of these occurred this year.

Yeah...talk about irritating.

I'm not one of these sports fans who will resort to lowbrow attacks on those teams I don't like.  (You know, things like, "UNC stinks!" or "The Tarheels are stupidheads!")  Of course UNC is good, they are very good--that is what is so cotton-pickin' irritating about it all.  The players on their team are fine, upstanding citizens, I'm sure.  I don't have any real reason for not liking their team--I just don't.  I don't like their mascot, their name, their colors, or the little diamonds on their uniforms.  I don't like the fact that their arena is nicknamed "The Dean Dome."  I don't like the fact that they are from some place called Chapel Hill.  I just don't like the University of North Carolina Tarheels!

I dunno--maybe it is just in my genetic code.  Maybe I was created not to like them.  (Maybe I'm going a little too far.)

Anyway, congratulations to that team that won this year--what was their name again?

At least it will be over soon and I can get back to the really important things--like Jeopardy!

Despite my disappointment--I still maintain that the NCAA tournament is the most exciting event in sports, hands down!

Until next year,

Andrew

PS - The only thing that I come even remotely close to liking about UNC is some guy named Michael Jordan.  Even then he is kind of like Stonewall Jackson--great guy but he fought for the wrong side!

Happy Holiday

Just wanted to take this opportunity to wish everyone a happy holiday tomorrow.

You do know that tomorrow is a national holdiay, right?

Okay, so it's not an official holiday...but it should be.

Tomorrow, shortly after noon eastern standard time, the 2009 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament will begin.

That's right...

It's March Madness!

I love this time of year, and I love the fact that so many of the people I love love this time of year too!

Anyway, happy holiday!

If you need me tomorrow or Friday, I will be at home, soaking it all in...

Growing Pains-Growing Up

I saw the movie Fireproof a few weeks ago (which was very good, by the way) and saw actor Kirk Cameron.  It reminded me of one of my favorite shows growing up--Growing Pains.  I was doing some searching online about Kirk a few minutes ago, and I came across a cast reunion interview on Larry King Live.  The second segment of the show was the most interesting.  If you feel so inclined, you can watch it here.  The interesting part is right at the beginning.  When the video begins, Larry has just asked Kirk what he has been up to since the show ended.  Kirk's response (and Larry's subsequent response to Kirk's response) is rather interesting.  (If you really have some time on your hands, keep watching until they start talking about the show in China.)

Sit back and have yourself a Poke

I was thinking the other day.

After I finished doing that, something occurred to me.  In these days of economic turmoil, it is not all that unusual of an occurrence for two big name companies to merge into one.  Take Sirius Satellite Radio and XM Satellite Radio or Northwest Airlines and Delta Airlines as cases in point.  Wouldn't it be unique if they merged the companies' names as well?  You know, like Sirium Satellite Radio or Northwelta Airlines?  With that in mind, I spent the next few minutes (I won't tell how many) coming up with some unusual combinations (You can add your own in the comments section, if you have a good one):

GooHoo (Google and Yahoo, I also like Yoogle)

My Face (MySpace and Facebook)

Poke (Pepsi and Coke)

Tar-Mart (Target and Wal-Mart, I also like Wal-et)

Puggies (Pampers and Huggies, I also like Hampers)

Pickr (Picasa and Flickr, Flicasa just didn't sound right)

Paudi (Porsche and Audi)

TGI Tuesday's (I'm gonna let you guess on that one--could call it Ruby Friday's)

Hotwitz (Hotwire and Orbitz)

Cony (Canon and Sony)

Oh well, maybe one day things will get interesting...

Treasures

Hope you enjoy the latest offering from Season 3 of DFV (Doan Family Videos).  Before you click "Play," I would like to give you two background notes to this video:

1.  Because of the montage nature of the film, the footage of the kids is not necessarily chronological.  (This helps to explain why Eldan and Evie seem to jump around in appearance throughout the film.)

2.  This is the first video I have produced on our new Apple iMac computer.  Although the differences may not be apparent to you the viewer, I as the editor noticed quite a difference as I worked with the Apple software and hardware.  The difference was definitely good.

Having said that, I am pleased to present my latest film, "Treasures."

Math is Practical! (Thank You Mr. Smith)

I left school Friday afternoon looking forward to a first for me--winter vacation. Apparently, it is a rather common practice in the Northeast to take a week off from school in late February or early March. (This vacation is in addition to the regular Christmas break and Spring break.) So how did I decide to spend this newly found treasure? How else? I loaded the family in our "tan van" and drove to Canada!

We left shortly after school on Friday to drive through the uniquely individualistic state of Maine to the Canadian province of New Brunswick and the home of my brother-in-law and sister.

As the 7 hour drive wore on, I found myself succumbing to the weariness and fatigue of a long week. Everyone else in the van was out, so I had to become rather resourceful in finding ways to keep myself awake. (I couldn't even play the license plate game because there were very few other vehicles on the road once we got past Bangor.) I opted for something that I do often when driving long hours--math.

For some odd reason, I love to figure out different statistics about our journey while traveling. I say odd because--I am not very good at math nor do I have any particular affection for it. I have found, however, that the mental dexterity required to figure some of these equations out is just what I need to keep from falling asleep. Last night, it started like this:

I saw a sign that said 38 miles to Houlton--the last American city before the border. I wanted to find out how long it would take us to travel that distance if I had my cruise control set at exactly 70 mph. Several minutes later I had my answer--32 minutes and 47 seconds (approximately)! (Of course, by the time I figured out the answer, it was more like 27 minutes and 13 seconds!)

With that simple equation, the proverbial floodgates of mathdom were thrown open in my mind. Soon I had also figured out that a car travelling 70 mph is traveling 103 feet per second which meant that we were covering the length of a football field in under 3 seconds which also meant that I could figure out how far away a moose in the road would be if I counted the seconds from the time I saw it until the time I hit it. I figured out that two cars competing in a 100 mile race with one car traveling 70 mph and starting 10 miles behind the starting line will overtake the other car in exactly 1 hour (if the other car is traveling 60 mph), and will finish the race with the other car 5.7 miles behind! I figured out that a car traveling 70 mph and getting 20 miles per gallon will use a gallon of gas approximately every 17 minutes! I figured out that people from Maine are just plain weird and that Stephen King has plenty of inspiration for his horror novels! I figured out that I am a big geek who has an anemic view of fun, and that all of my students would make fun of me if they knew how much enjoyment I got out of solving math problems in my brain while driving through the biggest nothing of nothing east of the Mississippi!

Anyway, the conclusion of the matter is this--you know all of those "I'm never gonna use this stuff anyway!" kids in math class who complained about the work? Well, I am here to announce that they were wrong. We do use math as adults. If for nothing else, it can keep us from running our minivan into a pine tree at 103 feet per second!  Thank you to Mr. Smith--my 10th grade Algebra II teacher!

So, now I am gonna go watch some curling on TV.

Peace out...

It's Been A While

So...It's been a while for me. Below you will see some pictures of just a few of the things that have kept me from blogging recently...

Stinky Holidays

I was sitting in my living room the other day, and I noticed the aroma of poop. In light of the fact that we have two children under the age of three, this is not necessarily a rare occasion. The odd thing about this scenario was--neither of my children were within in ear(or nose)shot at the time. I mentioned it to my wife (that should not be taken to mean that I was implying the smell originated with my wife), and she discovered the source of the foul smell--our Christmas tree. And so with a bit of hesitancy, I took off the lights and ornaments, carried the tree out of the house, and closed the door on another grand, glorious, and always unpredictable holdiay season. Might as well start planning for next year--the nation's retailers already are!

PS - You will notice that I took my blog tree down as well, althogh not for the same reason as the real tree. My blog doesn't stink. At least I don't think it does. Apparetly, neither do the 7,000+ people who have visited it over the last two years.

The Rest of the Story

I know that some of you have been waiting with bated breath to find out if we ever actually made it to Colorado or not.  I apologize for the delay.  To be honest, I didn't really want to think about our last travel day for a while.  Now that I have gotten over it somewhat, I am pleased to present the final installment in my Holiday Travel Poetic Trilogy...

One Sunny Monday

At five in the morning my alarm made its sound.

I jumped out of bed and began looking around.

We needed to gather all of our stuff,

For if we forgot it, life would be rough.

We woke up the kids, and we went out the door.

Logan International Airport is what we're headed for.

That's when things started to go not our way,

and the next 21 hours were a really "unique" day.

It started with traffic--both outside and in.

People were everywhere, we just couldn't win.

We were randomly chosen for a second screening.

The security guards gave us a good preening.

They patted down Evie and Eldan too.

I'm not really sure what they thought kids would do.

We got on our plane and were doing just fine,

Until the pilot said we wouldn't leave on time.

Our flight out of Boston was an hour or so late,

And that destined us to a traveler's worst fate.

Our connection to Denver we missed at midday,

And our disappointment I can hardly relay

When the man at the counter said our next flight

Wouldn't leave Atlanta until nine that same night!

It was just barely lunch time when we got this news,

And I'll tell you the truth--there were some "Boo-hoos!"

We ate and we waited and we waited some more.

We walked up and down the Concourse E floor.

I paid seven dollars to go internet surfing,

But, par for the course, the connection was not working.

People around us were grumpy and mad.

While we were just tired and lonely and sad.

There was one idea that we could all try.

It was leaving earlier by flying standby.

On the four-thirty flight we didn't get called,

And for the six-thirty flight my hopes were a bit stalled.

Yet, lo and behold, there was room for us all.

And when our name they said, we answered the call.

A row to ourselves we were given with glee,

And look! They even have in-flight entertainment for free!

Yet, the four hour flight was spent with some groans,

From hunger, fatigue, and malfunctioning headphones!

"Oh well," I thought, "Just a bit irritating.

At least I know my family is waiting!"

I thought this because I had texted our flight

To my mom on her cell phone earlier that night.

Yet, unknown to me, a problem with the phone

Meant all of my family was sitting at home.

When our plane in Denver finally landed

Another full hour we would be stranded.

By this time it was nearly ten in the night

And our two little munchkins were losing the fight.

They both fell asleep--get some much needed rest.

I have to admit, they both did their best.

In spite all the troubles with which our pathway was paved,

Both of our children were quite well behaved.

I wish I could say the same for their dad.

On several occasions, my attitude was bad.

And now this poem I am glad I'm concluding.

Sometime after midnight we were in our bed snoozing.

Tuesday we woke with our attitude sunny,

And looking back now...our trip was quite funny...

Well, sort of.

Before I finish my holiday rhymes,

I feel I must add two final lines.

There is one bit of info this poem can't lack.

A week from this Saturday...we have to fly back!!!!!!!!!!

A Flourishing Poet

Now that I have started, the rhymes just keep coming...

One Windy Sunday

We finally woke up about eight-thirty or nine.

With nowhere to go, we had plenty of time.

A mid-morning breakfast of the continental kind,

And we were quickly putting our troubles behind.

But, then, a hiccup of no small proportion--

My wife informed me of a horrible notion.

Our diaper supply was running dangerously low,

And our children's bowels were not very slow.

If we didn't do something in one glorious swoop,

Our hotel room would be swimming in piles of diapers.

There was no alternative--the decision was quick.

Off in the snow, I would bound like St. Nick.

"Why must you walk?" wondering you are.

The answer is simple--We don't have a car!

I bundled up tight, and I went out the door.

Diapers and lunch is what I'm looking for.

The wind is ferocious--it's over the top.

But I soon find my way to the store Stop n' Shop.

A few minutes later, I'm carrying my sack.

Only this time I have the wind to my back.

A victorious return to my Comfort Inn pad,

And for the most part the walk wasn't that bad.

Lunch, naps, and football take the rest of the day.

Oh, and more Mexican dinner was coming our way.

I tried checking in online for our flight,

But for some unknown reason Delta wouldn't bite.

So it's until early Monday that we must all wait

To learn if flying is our Christmas fate.

8:25 is our target time.

So check back tomorrow for my last traveling rhyme.

Here We Go...Again

It appears that I will have some time on my hands today, so...
I thought I would try my hand at some poetry.

One Snowy Saturday

We woke with our hopes as high as the sky

That we would get on a plane and be able to fly.

Colorado was our destination

For a glorious family Christmas celebration.

But, alas, as in the airport we found ourselves standing,

We realized our plane would not soon be landing--

Or taxiing, or cruising, or any such thing.

Does all this have a familiar ring?

Our flight had been cancelled--rejected, denied!

I looked at my wife and we both almost cried.

Nothing out of Boston today, I'm afraid.

Our Christmas vacation will be slightly delayed.

I talked to the lady at the counter for a while

Who tried to assist us with a half-hearted smile.

She said, "I can get you on a flight tomorrow for free."

But she failed to mention that it passed through Chile!

"No thanks," I responded as I looked at the gates,

"For now we will try to stay in the States!"

She had one more flight that left on Sunday,

But another snow storm was headed our way.

I decided to try and get ahead of the game,

So for a flight on Monday, I put down my name.

Rather than drive through the weather as well,

I decided we would stay in a local hotel.

After freezing while waiting for the shuttle to come,

We dragged all our stuff to room 821.

After a Mexican dinner and some Sour Patch Candy

We lay in our beds--for once feeling dandy!

But then the baby, she started to cry,

And for the life of us both, we didn't know why!

My wife tried to calm her and settle her down,

But poor little Evelyn was stuck with a frown!

After what seemed like an hour or two

She finally calmed down. But then, you know who!

Mr. Eldan decided to wake up and scream,

I think he was having some sort of bad dream!

At last both the kids were sleeping away

And we could call an end to a difficult day.

If you want to know how things will conclude,

Just check back here soon--for the next interlude!

One of My Most Favorite and Least Favorite Quotes

"Life is what happens to you when you are making other plans."

Here We Go

I woke up this morning and spent an hour shoveling nine inches of snow off my driveway.  I noticed that I sounded a little like a women's tennis match as I grunted and groaned with each shovel-full.  At least I have a real snow shovel now instead of using the midget-edition I had to work with last year.

Despite nearly 14 hours of snowfall, the airport at Boston appears to be running normally, so...we are about an hour away from loading up the van and beginning our annual Holiday Trek across the country to be with family.  If all goes according to plan, we should be touching down in Denver shortly after 9 o'clock this evening (Mountain Standard Time).

The real question is...will everything go according to plan?  The Lord knows and we will too soon enough.

To those of you traveling this week--may God be with you.

To those of you not traveling this week--pray for those of us who are.

To everyone--Merry Christmas!

Season's Greetings (Video Version)