Second Guessing

Have you ever heard the expression "Monday morning quarterbacking"? The phrase refers to football fans talking about Sunday's game at work on Monday morning. If their team lost the previous afternoon, everyone seems to have an opinion about what could have or should have been done during the key points in the game in order to produce a different outcome. I wonder if real NFL quarterbacks ever find themselves "Monday morning quarterbacking"? My guess is that they do--often. When things don't go well, there is always a tendency to look back and wonder if the outcome would have been different if you had made different choices. It's second guessing, and all of us have done it, I'm sure.

I am not a very decisive person by nature. I hate making decisions, and I often sit on "Monday mornings" and question whether I have done the right thing. Over the last 5 days, I have done a lot of second guessing. I have also learned something that I would like to share with my readers.

We arrived in Merrimack, NH late Wednesday night. It was an emotional time as we said "See you later" to our friends the Walshes who helped us with the driving from Ohio. On Thursday morning, July 3rd, we began the task of unloading and unpacking our things. Shortly after 11 in the morning, I walked from our house to the church building across the street to pick up a packet of information. As I was walking back in the 80 degree temperature, I saw that Danielle's grandparents had pulled up in their car. They were bringing us lunch. (Grandpa loves to cook!) Danielle's Nana got out of the car and walked toward the front door with Grandpa just a few steps behind. About 30 seconds later, I walked throughout the same door and saw that Nana had collapsed onto the floor. I've replayed the next 10 minutes in my mind dozens of times since it happened. Without going into all of the details, let me just tell you that I tried to use several of the things I had been previously taught in CPR/First Aid class. When the paramedics arrived, they took over the situation and eventually rushed Nana to St. Joseph's Hospital in Nashua, NH. No one knows exactly what happened inside Nana's body, but shortly after midnight on Friday, July 4th, she passed away.

After the initial rush of adrenaline wore off that morning, I became very distressed. I was frustrated because I felt like I had wasted too much time right after Nana collapsed. I knew she needed help, but I couldn't do anything until I moved her. I didn't know if I should do that or not. All throughout the afternoon on Thursday, I struggled with the question, "What if I had acted more quickly? Would the outcome have been different?" Although I would never have chosen the position for myself, I was the quarterback and it was "Monday morning."

At the risk of making this too long of a post, let me tell you that I have talked with several people (including some with professional medical training) and have become more settled in my mind and emotions about what happened. Part of me still wishes I had acted more quickly, but I know I have to let it go.

The reason I have shared all of this is to mention what I have learned from this tragedy--second guessing is very rarely a good idea. That is not to say that we should be proud and arrogant. That is not to say that we should refuse to admit mistakes or learn from them. That is not to say that we shouldn't look back in life and reflect on both the positive and the negative experiences. The point is this. In life, you only get one run-through. There are no mulligans. That is why it is so important to take your time and to seek the wisdom of God when making major life decisions. (I am hoping that some of my students from LCCA are reading this.) Life, however, does not always afford us the luxury of time when making decisions. Sometimes, we don't get a chance to fast and pray and seek counsel. Sometimes...we just have to act. Second guessing yourself doesn't accomplish a whole lot other than making you upset and unsure of yourself. "What if I make the wrong decision in crunch time?" you might ask. Well, if you are walking in the Spirit daily, all you can do is trust God to help you make the right decision. If you do make a mistake, the best thing I can figure to do is admit it, learn from it, and move on. God is gracious, great, and good. We are fallen, frail, and finite. He has the amazing ability to work all things (including our poor decisions) together for good according to His purposes. There is no room for obsessive perfectionism in the life of a Christian--it is paralyzing and lacking in faith. Let us purpose to serve God with all of our heart. If things don't always run as smoothly as we might have hoped, don't look back for too long. The road ahead is where our eyes should be.

"Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."
- the Apostle Paul